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trail mix and muscle relaxers [Apr. 18th, 2006|07:56 pm]
itscoldanddark
man...am i out of it or what?

i'm hungry for a snack and my shoulders are killing me. my neck is killing me too and it's causing a fat migraine. i'm pretty much hating life right now. pain killers to the rescue. they're making me groggy and weird. but it's ok, i'm starting to feel better. nap time.

-James Anthony
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(no subject) [Apr. 6th, 2006|08:44 pm]
itscoldanddark
so my life seems to be going in a downward spiral of sorts. or maybe i'm just staring at the ground while spinning in circles. the only difference being that one of those is my own fault. i guess i just need to look on the brighter side.

work sucks. so routine that it's sickening. i dread every second i'm there and it just puts a sourness in the rest of my day. i make the equivalent of dirt in terms of money. but hey...the brighter side...at least it's dirt and not shit. the physical demands of this job aren't much to most...but for me it's hell to stand in a single spot for close to two hours straight, basically in a slightly hunched over position for the majority. my back hates me with a passion of two christs by the time i'm off work.

the two bands i'm in seem to be having difficulty. the drummer (who happens to be the same in both bands) is leaving around august or september to move to oregon. how much of a fucking bummer is that? a pretty damn big one, not even considering the fact that i'll be losing the drummer in both bands, but for the fact that an amazing friend is moving a state away. it's just another person to add to the list of my long distance friends that i'll miss. lame.

i don't drive. i haven't for close to 3 years now i think. i dunno, i lost track after the first year. i'm just BARELY down to making my last court payment for the DUI i got a million years ago. now i just have to pay a re-issue fee to get my license re-instated which will cost around $150. not to mention more hassle and more red-tape that i'll have to deal with. paperwork and signatures. fuck. i should have listened to those don't drink and drive commercials they were broadcasting back in the 80's. they were on to something back then, and it sure as hell is still good advice for today.

after i get my license back then i'll be on the hunt for a car. but those cost money in case you forgot, and if you refer back to what i wrote earlier, i make dirt. (but at least it's not shit...yeah, i know...) but even after all that...do i still even remember how to fucking drive anymore? i can't even imagine what it would be like to drive again. i'm sure not much has changed in 3 years, but damn, did SUV's even exist 3 years ago? i don't even know. i know i don't like them, but did i dislike them when i was out on the road with them? i don't remember saying anything like "fuck you, you fuckin suburban driving asshole!" or "did your dick get smaller or did your car get bigger!?" while waving my fists at a pretty boy in a polo shirt with his collar flipped up driving a hummer. fucking dicks.

what was i talking about again? anyway...

i just need to lighten up i guess. things will get better.

i'll eventually get my license...and a new car...and remember how to drive...and then i'll get a new job...with better pay...and benefits...and then i'll get married...buy a house...have kids...blah blah blah...blah blah...blah...

so how much of that will actually be true?

i guess i'll have to look on the brighter side to find out.

-James Anthony
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my day off [Mar. 25th, 2006|07:44 pm]
itscoldanddark
[Current Mood |relaxedrelaxed]

so far today has been a day filled with nothingness and it's absolutely incredible. i've been completely and utterly zoned out the entire day and i'm loving it.

so far i've cleaned my room a little bit, re-organized my bookshelf to include some recent new additions, and done a bit of reading. overall i'm pretty satisfied thus far. actually...i'm pretty fucking stoked.

now i'm just relaxing, listening to the music of my morning jacket, while i type away on this lovely little machine called a computer.

what to do next...what to do next...

hmm...

how about nothing?

sounds good to me.

-James Anthony
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wow... [Mar. 24th, 2006|11:46 pm]
itscoldanddark
[Current Mood |draineddrained]

so it's been quite some time since i last posted on this thing. i never have time for anything anymore, so maybe that's why. but it's ok. it's for myself and my thoughts anyway so i guess it doesn't really matter.

i just got finished with band practice (Sides) and now i'm exausted. i'm always tired. i need a break from life. i'm always on the go. doing something. when can i do nothing? that's what i'd like to know.

it'll be nice to have tomorrow off from practice. a day to relax is always nice, i'm looking forward to it.

i think i'm gonna wake up early and go to the library down the street from my house and buy a few books. they always have a sweet ass book sale every saturday. the last time i was there i bought 3 hard cover books for $2.50, is that a sweet deal or what? i thought so too. i got two david sedaris books and the good ol' celestine prophecy. i always buy the celestine prophecy every time i see it because i always end up giving it away.

speaking of david sedaris though...

my girlfriend jillian and i are going to go see him at the flint center on april 30th (which is also jillian's birthday!). he'll be there doing a reading of some kind. should be good times. he's hilarious, so i'm fairly confident it'll be awesome.

anyway...my back hurts, my neck hurts, and i'm a whiney little bitch because of it so i'm gonna go relax on my bed now and hopefully fall asleep soon.

-James Anthony
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a sort of explanation [Jul. 2nd, 2005|10:02 pm]
itscoldanddark
so some of you may be wondering about my last post. well i'll try and explain as much as i can, but i have a lack of time at the moment...

so basically some people may have heard that i'm not in my band (Maida) anymore. some pretty bad stuff happened concerning me while we were in Idaho. not my proudest moment in life...but it turned out to be a huge reality check for me and i know things will turn out all the better because of it. there are no hard feelings whatsoever between me and the rest of the band. i love them all more than they know. they're all like brothers to me and i would do anything for them at any time. that's pretty much the main reason that i'm taking a break from the band for a who knows how long. it could be a permanent thing, or maybe not. only God knows at this point. it sounds like a typical thing to say, but i have a lot of soul searching to do and i know this time off will be very beneficial for me. my mental stability as of late hasn't been to great considering a lot of things that have been going on in my life. i just need to figure out some things and learn how to cope with a lot. an easy answer would be medication...which some people are suggesting, but i find that to be such a cop-out. i know i'm stronger than that and strong enough to get through this whole ordeal and go back to being the happy person i once was. i just need some time. i can only hope that Maida is willing to have me back if and when i'm ready to pursue music again. i can't imagine myself playing with anyone else, so i think at this point if i can't play with them again, then i just might be done with music entirely. but who knows. it's been a tough time lately, but i know things will get better. i've already started on a few things which have definitely made me happier and i know i'll be able to keep it up with just a little love and support from my family and friends.

anyway...

if anyone from Maida is reading this, know that i love you all and thank you for dealing with me and all of my faults. i know i'll be strong enough to pull through all of this, and i can only hope that you know it too. good luck on the rest of the tour and i'll miss you guys a great deal while you're gone.

to anyone else that knows me...

if i decide to fill you in on what's going on with me, i can only hope i have your support in my new endeavors.

i know this all may sound vague, but that's all i can really offer at this point in time.

if you've made it this far, thanks for caring enough to read it.

-James Anthony
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the worst day of my life [Jun. 23rd, 2005|01:14 pm]
itscoldanddark
i'm pretty sure i've ruined my life forever.
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my back hurts [Jun. 20th, 2005|12:15 pm]
itscoldanddark
so....it's hot here in utah today.

we got yelled at by some crazy lady on the street. she said something about us keeping her up all night and that we'd get a ticket. i dunno....pyscho....

anyway....we're going to go eat. then it's batman time.

i'm stoked.

-James Anthony
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looooooong fucking drive [Jun. 20th, 2005|03:07 am]
itscoldanddark
so, we just arrived at our destination in salt lake city, utah. we're hanging out at this girls house named Emma. i guess she's friends with the ABW guys. it's a nice place. huge living room. HUGE. pretty big bathroom too. it's kinda strange. it has 3 separate rooms in the bathroom all with a toilet and shower. weird.

but anyway...

the drive here was horrible. 9 1/2 hours. i think everyone was pretty much going insane. but it's ok, at least we have a mini dvd player with us so we can watch movies.

but i think it's gonna be bed time soon, everyone is getting ready to pass out and i'm gonna do the same.

we have the next day off here in utah before we play, so i think we're gonna go try to watch the new batman movie. should be fun.

anyway, hope all is well back home.

it still doesn't feel like tour yet to me....

-James Anthony
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fallon, nevada [Jun. 18th, 2005|09:30 pm]
itscoldanddark
so it's saturday june 18th and we're in fallon, nevada. pretty much out in the middle of nowhere, nevada. we're playing at a coffee shop called jive and java. it seems like there could be some potential here though. there seems to already be some people here and the show doesn't start for another hour. they fed us, which is nice considering we don't really get to eat real food from touring, but we'll get used to it.

we spent the night last night at damien's grandma's house in reno. that was cool. we slept well and she made us a pretty kick ass breakfast.

after grammy's house we made our way to downtown reno where we walked around for a while and then rob, brian link, and i decided to go to a strip club. this was the first time i've ever been before so it was kind of awkward. it just kinda made me depressed seeing some of the people in there. you can tell they were regulars. i dunno, it was just a weird/creepy kinda vibe. there was no cover charge, just a two drink minimum, so we just had a couple beers and left. there were only two semi attractive girls there and it was just weird watching them dance topless. i dunno, strip clubs just aren't my thing i guess.

anyway...

the last couple days have been cool. i don't really feel like writing about them, but you can go here and read up on the band journal to find out more.

www.livejournal.com/users/maida_journal

and yeah, tomorrow we head to salt lake city, utah. hopefully that'll be fun.

i still don't feel like we're on tour yet though. i'm still waiting for all that to hit me.

anyway, if anyone is reading this, i hope all is well and be sure to keep in touch. call me on my cell phone if you get bored.

(408) 826-9239

-James Anthony
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leaving for tour [Jun. 16th, 2005|02:01 pm]
itscoldanddark
well, today we're leaving for tour. 2 months.

i'll try to keep this thing updated as much as possible since i'll have more access to a computer while i'm on the road then i normally would here at home.

anyway. i'm outta here. wish me luck.

-James Anthony
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